this is no longer my blog

Saturday, October 02, 2004


an audience

So in the early days of my blog, I was sure no one was really reading it. That would be because I didn't tell anyone about it. I had a freedom to type whatever I wanted, and if it was a big pile of steamy poo it really didn't matter because no one else was reading it. Now the ante has been upped. I told a few people about it and they told a few people about it who told a few more people about it, so now I really don't have any idea who reads my blog. And that really isn't a bad thing. If people get enjoyment or any amount of insight or it aids in someone's procrastination than it has done more than I ever had originally planned. Of course, now that I know I have an actual audience, I feel an increase in the pressure to have decent entries. I feel like it's a performance and I need to make the effort and time that people put into finding and reading my blog worth it.
So when a week or so goes by and nothing blog-worthy happens, or I am not struck by the theological significance of anything, I feel as if I am disappointing my faithful readers (some more faithful than others... Hi Melissa! [and for those of you who are interested, Melissa got a new car.]) So it's back to that dilemma of making stuff up so that it seems as if I have a more exciting life. But then, as I told the senior high youth at a recent lock-in, Jesus told us not to lie. So by making up falsehoods and trying to make it sound like they actually happened, I am responsible for the weeping of my Savior. And I'm not sure that I can handle that guilt right now. So would you like to hear all the non-excitement that happened to me today? Here goes: Set my alarm for 8:00, hit the snooze until 8:30. Got up, showered, dressed, headed over to church. Loaded boxes of quilts onto a horse trailer (not sure how many boxes, but there were 523 quilts... luckily about 7 other people were there). Went back home. Watched some tv. Checked my e-mail. Drank some root beer. Drove to the gas station for a cup of coffee (I really need to invest in a new coffee maker). Ate some chicken noodle soup. Watched the Beverly Hills 90210 reunion on VH1. Checked my e-mail. And there you go. Here I am. Oh, I read over my sermon a time or two in there, too. But I had that finished last night. What I really need to be doing is washing my pastor costume for this evening, because we have worship at 5:30 where I have to preach aforementioned sermon. Then two more services the following day. And I have to teach 8th grade confirmation during the Sunday School hour and I really haven't gone over the lesson at all, yet. Probably won't, either. We are supposed to be focusing on Service, but we ended up talking about homosexuality and how one girl doesn't believe in God for most of the time last week. Then a bird flew into the window and I totally lost the kids. Of course I laughed for a couple of minutes when that happened, too. The kids have already learned that I am easily distractable and they take full advantage of it. I ended up telling them that if in the end of the class period they can give me a basic overview of what I tried to teach them, then I feel as if my job has been accomplished.
I'm cold.
Anyway... I've rambled on about nothing for far too long now. So I'm going to go and put my pastor costume in the laundry, and then maybe drink some more root beer. And probably watch some more tv. Although there really is not much on. I did see Charlie's Angels 2 the other day, which made me think of my friends from seminary the Carlsons because when I lived with them for a summer while I was a chaplain at a hospital in Duluth we watched the first Charlie's Angels movie like 462 times. And I don't care if the action scenes in the movie are not believable in the least... they ARE entertaining and enjoyable... Okay, the quality of this blog entry has greatly degenerated and I need to stop before it gets worse. So in the words of my friend Mike:

Shanti, and stick it to the man.

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