My dear Mr. Yushchenko,
As I was standing in my kitchen pondering what there was that I could eat (I wanted nachos, but as I had no tortilla chips or cheese, they were out of the question) I looked at my feet to see a spot of dried blood on the floor. "Ew," I thought to myself (actually I may have said it aloud) "There is a spot of dried blood on my floor."
As I was bringing some clothes down to the laundry room, so that they might be washed and then worn once again, I noticed another drop of blood on the laundry room floor. "Ew," I thought, once again, "There's another drop of blood on the laundry room floor." As I turned on the washing machine I noticed some spots on the dryer where there had been drops of blood and the man who took on my dryer had tried to wipe them off, but mainly just kinda smeared the blood around. "Ew," thought I, "there are some spots on the dryer where there had been drops of blood and the man who took on my dryer had tried to wipe them off, but mainly just kinda smeared the blood around."
Then I went into the kitchen again, and this time I saw my roll of paper towels. It seems the man who took on my dryer made a mad rush to get his blood-gushing finger from the laundry room to the sink to wash it off. It also seems that he was not yet finished bleeding as he grabbed my roll of paper towels to grab something to apply to his gaping wound. So there is some dried blood on one end of the roll of paper towels. And I needed some paper towels for something, so instead of getting rid of this tainted roll of towels, I merely tore off the number that I needed and then ripped off the edge that had the dried blood on it.
I haven't found anymore dried blood, but the amount I've seen so far makes me wonder exactly how much blood this poor man who took on my dryer actually lost. He did seem a bit pale when he came over to the church after his victory. I wonder if he needed a transfusion. Blood plays an important role in the function of our bodies, you know. If you lose too much, it is definitely not a good thing.
And this has totally affected how I deal with my dryer. I thought we used to have a pretty good working relationship. Now, however, there seems to be some tension. I wonder when it will stop functioning again, or who it will attack next. And what about the washer? Are they a team? Was the dryer just creating a diversion so that the washing machine could do something ten times as evil? They sit together all day, unattended, in my laundry room. Who knows what kind of evil schemes they could create and undertake.
Anyway, Mr. Yushchenko, I am scheduled to preach this weekend and as of yet I have not finished my sermon. So I suppose I should do that.