this is no longer my blog

Sunday, January 09, 2005



I didn't feel as if I could really let the events of this past weekend go unblogged. So, although I don't feel much like typing, to be faithful to my audience I thought that I would, anyway.
So Friday was basically spent running around getting the finishing touches done that I needed to do for the council retreat this weekend. Council retreat was from about 6ish on Friday to 4ish on Saturday. After that I needed run go like a bat out of hell to get back and get changed and get ready and get my sermon printed for the 5:30 service. Well, leave it to my printer to decide that exact time was when it wanted to screw around. So it started taking in multiple sheets and printing the top half of words on one page and the bottom half of words on the following page. So finally I get that straightened out and printed out and I have like 10 minutes to get robed and ready for service. Both my pastor and I were feeling out of it for being rushed to get ready and not really having the prep time that we normally to do be over and church and finish up what needs to be done in a somewhat more leisurely manner. So then we get ready and go in and start worshipping and I am GETTING EVERYTHING WRONG! Like nothing is clicking during worship the way it can and is supposed to. Then comes my sermon, which is my longest sermon thus far, and I'm preaching and no one is laughing in the appropriate places and I get done and say to myself "Just because it's longer doesn't mean it was good. That sermon must have been crap." Then I muddle through the rest of the service, and screw up once in the baptism that we had that evening, and finally walk out and PRAISE THE LORD that service is over. Although there were some comments that my sermon was good. Several people liked it. The father of the baptized baby thanks me for the good message that, although I probably had it done far in advance, was very appropriate to the day his son was baptized.... Weird....
So move to 7:30 this morning when I wake up. Look at my alarm clock and POOP MY PANTS because WORSHIP STARTS AT 8-FREAKING-O-CLOCK! So I jump out of bed and before my feet really touch the floor I have grabbed my clothes, put them on, put my contacts in and I'm out the door. This service went much better. People laughed at the appropriate places. Little Samantha, who's like a year and a half or so, who sits up close to the front even laughed at my jokes. And that made everyone laugh even more. Then, on the way out, someone said "That was your best sermon yet." MORE COMMENTS ABOUT HOW GOOD MY SERMON WAS THAN I HAVE EVER RECEIVED. EVER. AND BY EVER I MEAN FROM THE DAWN OF CREATION. IT WAS A LOT.
So then I led confirmation and we actually got through a Bible study without the kids blatantly ignoring me to talk about the social drama of the 8th grade too many times.
Then the 10:30 service and in the sermon I make the mistake of mentioning that at my baptism I was abnormally cute... So then I have to stop and say "Well, maybe the adjective 'abnormal' wasn't the best, because I know now that most of you people will make fun of me for looking abnormal. So maybe exceptionally cute baby. Yeah, we'll go with exceptionally cute." But still I was mocked for looking abnormal. I knew it was coming.
Then we had to undecorate the church. I DID NOT GET MY POST CHURCH NAP! I'm disgruntled.
Then we ate pizza which was good. Papa Murphy's take and bake pizza. Which was good. Pastor's wife did not order enough. That was bad.
Then we had the Youth/Adult planning meeting and we had a mediocre turnout. Not quite what I was hoping for. But the kids came up with some good ideas, and ideas that I hope to see implemented.
Then I got a break for a couple of hours.
Then I have senior high bible study which went really well. Although one girl started randomly crying afterwards. I didn't get a chance to talk with her, but one of the other girls took her out and they talked. So hopefully things got cleared up. She seemed better when they left.
OH WAIT I FORGOT SOMETHING! After the undecorating, one of the moms went outside to go home, but the turkeys were in the parking lot. And she apparently has a bird phobia and she was afraid to go to her car. So brave Pastor Intern Mark ran out into the parking lot and began chasing the turkeys in circles through the parking lot. Everyone laughed and I heard several people wishing they had cameras.
Then, after the youth meeting, two of the high school girls needed to go out to their cars, but the turkeys were in the parking lot again. So this guy named Paul and I ran outside and began chasing the turkeys. They ran in circles, and got separated. I ended up almost cornering the female by a car (which was not my intention) so she takes off into the air. The girls, who were all standing by the door with it propped open, see the turkey fly in their general direction so they start screaming. The turkeys retreated to the safety of my backyard. That's what they get for not eating my bread. Jerkface turkeys.
I'm done. Peace out.

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